


Times Like This

by Aria6



Series: A Coyote's Stories [30]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Insensitivity - aka: Kyouraku is an asshole at times, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-12 19:44:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3353069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria6/pseuds/Aria6





	1. Chapter 1

At times like this, Ise Nanao hated Kyoraku Shunsui.

She knew he didn't mean to hurt people. He was just thoughtless and fickle. Usually the women and the occasional man he took up with understood that. Shunsui used them until they no longer amused him and then tossed them away, oblivious to any heartache. Although usually, there wasn't much. His affairs lasted a month, typically.

This was different. When Coyote Starrk had first come to their Division, he'd essentially been Shunsui's prisoner. Nanao remembered how the man had looked. So quiet and defeated, his gaze on the ground and his posture slumped. His body still showing the wounds that should have killed him, would have killed him, if fate had not intervened.

He'd felt broken to her, then. Like something inside him had been torn past mending and he was merely going through the motions of being alive. Eventually, it was decided to see if the Espada could be rehabilitated and made useful to Soul Society. Starrk had been given a weaker, removable version of the retaining collar and put into an empty spot in the Eighth. She hadn't expected much from him, which was good because she hadn't gotten much. Starrk hardly seemed to care about anything, although he did try to do his duties, in a desultory fashion.

Then it had changed. Coyote Starrk had begun to look up, to smile. His work showed more effort and he actually began to make himself useful. He even began a few tentative friendships in the Division. Normally, Nanao would have been pleased and thought his heart was mending. But she saw the way Starrk looked at Shunsui. She saw the soft, adoring eyes of a spaniel and wanted to scream. Why would Shunsui pick someone so vulnerable for his games?

It lasted a surprisingly long time. So long that Nanao thought, perhaps, that Shunsui really hadn't meant for it to happen. Perhaps he'd been swept up in the passion and forgotten himself, forgotten the ultimate outcome. But it didn't matter. Nine months later, Starrk failed to show up for three days. Normally that would have been cause for alarm but when she asked Shunsui about his erring second seat, he'd just given her a melancholy smile and told her to give Starrk some time. On the fourth day, Starrk had shown up for work in a rumpled uniform, unwashed, unbrushed and smelling of sake. She'd sent him home immediately to wash, get changed and sober up. He didn't come back that day, but he did the next. Finally, he was presentable… physically, at least.

Mentally, he had taken a huge step backwards. He was looking at the floor again, and when he spoke it was halting and short. His face seemed permanently fixed in an expression of sadness and Nanao began noticing disturbing things about his reports. They were getting done, but his handwriting was suffering and he kept making rather odd little drawings in the margins. They seemed repetitive, patterns of lines and dots repeated over and over. She had no idea what that meant – she was no psychologist – but it didn't seem like a good thing.

Shunsui tried to speak to Starrk once, during that time. Nanao could hear the conversation and his voice was very gentle – at least he understood how much he'd hurt the arrancar – but Starrk was nearly mute. His few replies consisted mostly of single words. Eventually, Shunsui gave up and left, an unusual expression of guilt on his face. When Nanao went to see how Starrk was doing she found him single-mindedly filling up a page of paper with those patterns of dots and lines. His face was almost calm as he did it and she suspected it was some kind of strange coping technique.

Nanao wasn't surprised when, a week later, Starrk quietly approached her to ask for a transfer to another unit. She was only surprised it had taken so long. But Starrk had friendships here, developed before his heart had been so cruelly broken. He didn't want to give them up, but he could no longer stand to be in the presence of his taichou, the man he was supposed to trust above all others. Nanao could only assure him that she would see to it, and he would likely have his transfer before the week was out. She cautioned him that he would likely move down in rank, but Starrk was indifferent to the prospect. Even if he'd been well, he probably wouldn't have cared. Rank meant nothing to the arrancar.

As she left her office from her meeting with Starrk, Nanao saw Shunsui. He was chatting up a giggling pair of girls who looked like they might be twins. His smile was completely normal and it was clear to her that he'd already gotten over what little feeling he might have had for Coyote Starrk. She adjusted her glasses and looked away before speeding her steps.

At times like this, she truly did hate him.

* * *

Juushiro looked into his tea, feeling deeply pained.

Nanao had come to him with her little problem and he had honestly been shocked. He'd thought Shunsui had stopped that sort of thing. Juushiro wasn't sure why, but his friend just couldn't settle into a relationship. He always got bored, felt the need for variety, something. The few times he'd tried to hold down a real relationship he'd become a serial cheater, and Juushiro had had several talks with him about it. Shunsui had finally stopped trying at all, settling for just one night stands or very short term liaisons.

So Juushiro had been shocked and horrified to hear that Shunsui had maintained Starrk as his lover for almost nine months. He really had no idea how it had gone on so long. But now, it was over and apparently Starrk was taking it very, very hard. Nanao wanted to know if he could take the arrancar on. He had one seated officer position open, which was fortunate. The only other possible spot was with the Eleventh and they both agreed that that would be a terrible fit for the arrancar. It would be better for him to go in unseated somewhere else.

There was a knock at the door and Juushiro looked up from his tea, clearing his throat. He knew who it had to be.

"Come in." He said and the door slid open to reveal the object of his thoughts. Coyote Starrk really didn't look well. As Nanao had said, he kept his gaze on the floor and there was an air of deep sadness about him. "Please, take a seat." He offered and Starrk settled on the cushion. Juushiro poured him a cup of tea and the arrancar just looked at it blankly, making no move to pick it up.

 _Where do I even start with this?_ Juushiro wondered as he gazed over the man. He'd seen heartbroken youngsters in his day but rarely anything like this. Starrk looked completely gutted by his loss.

"Nanao has asked me to take you into my unit. I'm afraid the only position I have available is for an eighth seat." That would be a huge step down from his current spot as a second seat. Starrk nodded, his hands folded in his lap as he stared into the tea. "Would that be acceptable?" He asked and the arrancar nodded again.

"Yes, taichou." His voice sounded so empty, so lifeless. "I do not mind." He added after a moment and Juushiro rubbed his forehead for a moment. He almost wished the arrancar did care. Accepting such a demotion so calmly would be inconceivable for a shinigami.

"Starrk… I know how difficult this must be for you." He said softly and the arrancar finally looked up. Their eyes met for just a moment before he looked back down again. "If you need help, please let me know." He would do everything he could to support this man.

"You are his best friend." Starrk observed, no real emotion in his voice. Juushiro frowned at that, sipping his tea.

"Yes, I am. But I know he's not perfect and this is one area in his life where he's always been a complete failure." Juushiro didn't know what piece of his history or mental kink was responsible for Kyoraku's behavior towards his lovers. But he knew his friend and would not lie to himself or anyone else about his bad qualities. Personally, the good outweighed the bad, but Juushiro had never considered taking Shunsui as a lover. "You can come to me for help. I only want what's best for you." He said, trying to put his absolute sincerity in his voice. He really, truly meant it. Starrk's eyes flickered a moment before he gave a small sigh.

"I will be fine. Will the transfer be complete soon?" There was some life in his voice then… eagerness. Juushiro nodded, feeling pity for him.

"Yes, you can begin moving your things over tomorrow." That would leave Kyoraku without a second seat but Nanao was sure she could cover for the lack. And she was the one who would be in charge of reorganizing things. Starrk nodded, taking that as a dismissal and standing to let himself out. Juushiro noticed that he hadn't touched his tea. Sighing to himself, he began to gather up the cup and saucer.

This was all very, very sad.

* * *

Juushiro didn't see much of Starrk for three months.

He did get reports, though, and for the first two months they were what he'd expected. Starrk was doing his work, but slowly and with those odd little doodles Nanao had noticed. Whenever he didn't have much to do, entire sheets of them could be found. It was troubling and more than a little sad. Rukia tried to gently urge the arrancar to go see Unohana, but he refused completely.

In the last month, something changed. Starrk suddenly seemed happier and the lines and dots disappeared from his work. His work was faster and more enthusiastic and he showed more energy when it came to cleansing hollows. Overall, it was a great improvement, but a puzzle. Then Starrk requested a private meeting with him and Juushiro immediately consented.

When the arrancar stepped inside, his appearance surprised Juushiro greatly. Mainly because he seemed to have gained weight, mostly around the middle. His clothing hid it well but he could easily spot it, with his attention to detail. In addition to that, Starrk was smiling faintly and seemed almost happy. Juushiro smiled back as he poured them both some tea and waited for Starrk to speak.

"Ukitake taichou, may I ask you some questions?" The arrancar asked after a moment. Juushiro nodded.

"Of course." He said easily, wondering what Starrk could want.

"When a female shinigami is pregnant, they may request paid leave for the period of five years?" Starrk asked, which made Juushiro stare.

"Uh… yes, they can." That was because children were so incredibly rare for shinigami. Allowances for them were generous. Starrk sipped his tea before speaking again.

"And then the child will receive a full education courtesy of the unit in question?" Starrk asked and Juushiro nodded, mystified. Then he bit his lip. Had Starrk somehow…? But surely a hybrid child would be even harder to create than a pure one! And who was the mother? "How would I go about making such a request?"

"What?!" Juushiro started before he suddenly stopped, his gaze falling to that distended abdomen. Starrk was only gaining weight in one place. But surely…? "I… don't understand. You are a man." That was obvious. Starrk gave him a smile, then, and it was a touch sad.

"I am a Beta." He corrected as Juushiro blinked. "Hollow reproduction is divided into Alphas and Betas. Alphas do the siring, Betas carry the litters. Sex does not matter… Alphas can be female. Halibel was an Alpha, to put that into perspective." That made Juushiro's mouth drop open a little. "I thought I was sterile. After my transformation to arrancar, my heats stopped, completely." Starrk ran a hand over his belly with a small, possessive smile. "It seems I was wrong." He sounded pleased with that but Juushiro could see an immediate complication.

"Shunsui… is he…?" He said and then winced as Starrk's face set into an emotionless mask. The Espada met his eyes and he saw only an aching void in that soft grey.

"I do not know the identity of the sire." Starrk said firmly and Juushiro stared at him, taken aback. Then he swallowed as he understood what the arrancar was doing. He was refusing to acknowledge the paternity of his child. In some ways, it was a wise decision. But…

"Starrk, have you thought that through? The Kyoraku clan could be very helpful to you." He said softly. If this child belonged to Shunsui, Starrk would have the right to petition them for support. The arrancar's lips tightened for a moment before he shook his head.

"Very dangerous." He corrected and Juushiro bit his lip. "They could take my child away. I have researched this." He said harshly. His grey eyes were cold and hard. "In a situation like this, with an unmarried female, it is up to her to raise and care for the child. Only if the man is part of some kind of noble clan is he obliged to help in any way." Starrk said and Juushiro nodded. Soul Society did not have child support, unless a marriage was involved. "But in such a situation the noble clan can demand the child. I will not give them such power over myself and my offspring."

"I understand what you're saying but… Starrk, this child will be a hybrid. They won't want to formally acknowledge it." Even with the potential strength of the child… the Primera Espada and Kyoraku Shunsui, one of the strongest taichou in the Gotei 13… the Kyoraku clan would not want to acknowledge something so disgraceful. The added layer of weirdness caused by Starrk's sex would only make them less inclined to take the child. "They would probably support you on the condition of absolute silence." That would be their likely reaction. Starrk shook his head.

"I understand that, but I cannot take the chance. This child is all I have." He said softly and Juushiro saw a hint of pain in those calm grey eyes. He was not over his loss, he'd just transferred his energies elsewhere. "I am an abandoned Beta and I will raise my pup alone. That is the way of things, for both hollows and shinigami." Starrk paused before smiling. It was a strange, brittle smile. "It seems that some things are a universal constant." He said lightly and Juushiro flinched. That… stung.

"Starrk…" Juushiro finally shook his head. "I can't stop you from doing this. But I will have to tell Shunsui. I'm his friend." Keeping a secret from someone that close to him… he just couldn't do it. Starrk nodded.

"He would find out anyway. I do not expect him to be interested." Starrk said calmly, which pained Juushiro because he knew it was true. Shunsui would be shocked and horrified, followed by a desire to pretend this hadn't happened. And Starrk would help him with that, with his desire to avoid any ties to the Kyoraku clan. "But how do I process the request?"

"I can get you the paperwork." Juushiro had it in his filing cabinet. He quickly got the appropriate forms before bringing them back. "Have you gone to see Unohana?" This pregnancy would be the first of its kind. Starrk paused as he took the form before shaking his head.

"No. I suppose I should." He sounded reluctant and Juushiro gave him a severe look. "I will go tonight, Ukitake taichou."

"Please, call me Juushiro." Suddenly, that formality irritated him. And besides… "You won't be under my command much longer." Starrk was reasonably far along. He would be pulled from his duties soon. The arrancar glanced down before nodding.

"As you wish, Juushiro-san." He said and Juushiro watched him leave, feeling torn. Then he came to a decision and nodded to himself. He was not going to let the arrancar be alone through this. It might be difficult, as standoffish as the man could be, but Juushiro was going to support him.

No one deserved to face such things alone.

* * *

Things went rather interestingly after that.

Shunsui's reaction was exactly what Juushiro had predicted. This was his first child and his best friend wanted nothing to do with it. It caused Juushiro a great deal of pain and he'd had some sharp things to say, but they hadn't changed Shunsui's mind. He didn't want a family and his greatest wish was to never see Starrk again. He was very glad to hear that Coyote Starrk felt the same way.

It all made Juushiro's heart hurt and for the first time in centuries, there was a genuine rift between him and Shunsui. They would eventually patch it up, but for now he really didn't want to talk to his friend. Instead, he put his efforts into a new project. That project was getting to know Coyote Starrk. Even for him, it was taxing. The man was friendlier than he had been but he was still withdrawn and wary. But there was a turning point, and that was the baby shower.

"SURPRISE!" Starrk started violently as a bit of confetti fell on him from the ceiling. He looked up at it before looking around, wide eyed. Rukia was smirking behind him. She'd led him into the trap and he hadn't suspected a thing. Juushiro smiled before enlightening the arrancar.

"It's a baby shower!" He said cheerfully as everyone laughed. A lot of people were present. Starrk hadn't been with them long and wasn't outgoing, but by now everyone knew about his circumstances. And they'd also known that hollows most certainly didn't have baby showers. No one wanted to miss his reaction, and it really was priceless. The hollow looked adorably confused, glancing around like he felt he might have fallen down a rabbit hole.

"Baby… shower…?" He said in a lost tone. Sentaro and Kiyone jumped in to explain. They had decorated the room and organized the food, competing with each other the entire way.

"It's a tradition from the Living World!" Kiyone said helpfully before Sentaro interrupted.

"We've started doing it in Soul Society!"

"When a first baby comes and the mother doesn't have anything – "

" – Everyone chips in to get them things!" Sentaro talked over Kiyone and she shot him in the gut with an elbow. "Ow!"

"It's great! And it's a party! There's food and games!" She finished in a rush, eager to get it all out.

"Oh. Err, I don't think I need much…" Starrk said awkwardly and Juushiro stepped forward, putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Of course you do. Babies go through diapers like you wouldn't believe." He knew that, intimately. He had no children but he'd helped raise his siblings.

"Oh. I, I had been planning to use fabric ones…" He said and Juushiro winced. He knew those, too. They had been all that was available when his siblings had been small and Juushiro thought that disposable diapers were a huge improvement. "But thank you." Starrk said belatedly, realizing he was being a bit ungrateful. Juushiro smiled and steered him towards the games.

Everything went rather well. The games were a bit random, perhaps, but everyone had fun. Starrk particularly enjoyed the piñata full of candies. The arrancar had developed a sweet tooth since he'd joined Soul Society and he definitely appreciated those, along with the cake. It was green, since they had no idea of the child's sex. Starrk had preferred not to know.

The gifts were very practical. Really, it was one large gift that everyone had contributed to. A hamper filled with diapers, bottles, onesies and other small-but-vital items that the arrancar would need. He accepted it all graciously although Juushiro could see some of it puzzled him. That worried him. How much did the man know about looking after children? After the party was done and they were cleaning up, he decided to ask.

"I raised pups, once." Starrk said quietly, looking at the onesie in his hands. It was blue and white. "But they were… I was an adjuchas. They were puppies and very cute. I – I knew this would be different, but not how much until now." He gently set the little piece of clothing down before looking at Juushiro. He could see the fear and distress hiding beneath the calm front of those grey eyes.

"I can help you. I have many younger siblings." Juushiro offered, drawn in by the vulnerability he could sense in the other man. Starrk gave him a smile and this time it was warm and genuine.

"Thank you. I would appreciate it." He said quietly and for the first time, Juushiro could sense a genuine trust between them.

Things became easier after that. Juushiro often invited the arrancar to tea and really got to know him and his living circumstances. The latter was a bit wince worthy. Starrk had needed to leave the Division barracks, but there hadn't been anything suitable in subsidized housing. So he'd gotten the cheapest bachelor flat available, down in the Rukongai. Starrk only cared that it was cheap. He didn't understand how terrible it really was. There was no running water, no heat, no real comforts. Just a room with a floor and a pile of pillows. Juushiro knew that was adequate for the arrancar – he could wash at the Division – but what would he do when the child came? From the vaguely worried look on Starrk's face when he described it, he was starting to realize that might be an issue.

But Starrk did not let his fears overshadow his joy. One day, the arrancar shyly offered him a look at the ultrasounds. Juushiro smiled at the tiny glimpse into that inner world. Was the child sucking his or her thumb? He rather thought so.

To make sure the child grew well, they had removed the collar. That proved to be extremely wise but for a completely unrelated reason. Starrk had been removed from active duty and was very round when he arrived at the Fourth, suffering from a bit of smoke inhalation. It was nothing really, to an arrancar, but someone had set the building on fire and they had used an accelerating kido. If he'd been wearing a limiter Starrk might have died. And almost fifty innocents living in the building had perished. The Onmitsukido was investigating but now the arrancar was homeless with the child only a month from being born.

"Starrk, please come stay with me at the Ugendo." Juushiro offered, not really impulsively. He'd been thinking about it for a while. Starrk needed support but it was more than that. Juushiro admired his pride, the way he faced his troubles without flinching. "For the child." He added as he saw the arrancar was thinking of refusing. Starrk hesitated, clearly thinking about it.

"I do not like to take charity but… for the child…" Starrk finally said and Juushiro was very glad. "So much is gone." He murmured, running a hand over his belly. "The gifts, all the things I bought." He sounded very melancholy, thinking about it.

"Those things can be replaced." Juushiro said gently and Starrk nodded. "Unlike the lives that were lost." There was a flash of something in the arrancar's eyes. Anguish?

"Yes. I… hope that attack was not aimed at me." He said softly and Juushiro understood completely. He felt partly responsible for the tragedy.

"The Onmitsukido will find the killers." Juushiro assured him and Starrk nodded, although not too hopefully. "Come, I should show you the way." The arrancar had never been to his home before.

It didn't take long to get Starrk settled. His instincts made him desperate to nest and he was soon sleeping on a mat in one of the spare rooms. Juushiro paused to watch the man sleep and felt a strange twist in his heart. He looked so vulnerable, snoring quietly on his side. It was the only comfortable position he had, with his belly so distended.

It was only two more weeks before Starrk gave birth. In that time, Juushiro helped him replace everything that he had lost. The arrancar went into labor early and woke him up late at night, his expression tight with pain.

Juushiro was the one who took him to the Fourth and held his hand as he brought his child into the world. The process was strange, to say the least – he'd never imagined how the Espada's organs would shift to give birth – and it was not painless. Starrk let go of his hand when the pain became too much, clutching his blankets instead.

"Is… it… supposed to hurt… this much…?" Starrk panted out, his face sheened with sweat. Unohana was checking his organs, helping him with the delivery.

"Everything appears to be going well, Starrk-san. You can push any time." She assured him and he whimpered as his belly rippled. The former Espada let out a low groan then, bearing down with the contraction.

The labor was not long, as such things went. A scant six hours and the infant slid into the world. The only thing that gave them pause was the umbilical cord, which was wrapped around the child's neck. Fortunately it was loose and had caused no issues. An exhausted Starrk was soon holding his child, looking down at the baby lovingly.

"A boy." He said with a small, pleased smile. "Coyote Ashkii." He whispered, gently touching a tiny, pink cheek.

"I thought Coyote was your first name?" Juushiro asked as he gazed at the child. He had a very powerful and very mixed reiatsu. The only obvious sign of his hollow nature was his fangs as he yawned. Juushiro blinked as he realized the baby had come equipped with a full set of teeth. There was a soft whine and Starrk brought the baby to his chest. He and Unohana both watched as Starrk's body produced some form of milk for the infant. Whatever it was, the child took to it readily.

"It is, but shinigami put their last name first and I never use that name anyway. I will give it to my child." He said with just an edge of sadness and Juushiro thought of Shunsui. His heritage was not reflected in the child's name at all. It was particularly sad because he thought the boy resembled his friend. The shade of his fluffy hair seemed to be warmer than Starrk's dark brown.

Unohana kept Starrk overnight, to make sure he and the child were well. A researcher from the Twelfth was allowed to take some samples from little Ashkii, but nothing more. Juushiro was certain there would be quite a bit of interest in the first true hybrid in the future.

He was right about that. It seemed like everyone wanted to see the baby. Except Shunsui. His absence was notable and Juushiro couldn't help but feel pained by it. Still, it was probably just as well. Seeing the father of his child would have caused Starrk immense pain.

"I wish to apologize." Starrk said to him quietly one day, over tea. Juushiro blinked at him, unable to imagine what the arrancar was apologizing for. "I am taking too long finding accommodations. It is difficult." The arrancar seemed tired, which was no surprise with a very young child. Juushiro winced at the thought.

"Please, Starrk, stay as long as you like." He said before hesitating. He wasn't sure the arrancar would take the offer well. He was so proud, so independent. "You know, you could stay here and pay me rent." He finally offered. He didn't need the money, of course, but it would make Starrk feel better about remaining at the Ugendo. The arrancar looked at him in surprise and almost shock.

"You… would do that? Why?" He said and Juushiro smiled at him.

"I love children. I've always wanted one of my own." He couldn't help a bit of sadness at that. He'd dated a few women, over the years. His coughing fits had always scared them away. He'd had better luck with men, but nothing permanent had ever formed. "You and Ashkii are welcome as long as you want to stay, Starrk." He said sincerely. Starrk examined him for a long moment, his expression troubled and searching. Juushiro wondered what was going through his mind. What was the arrancar looking for? Then there was a high, thin cry and his head turned.

"Then, for his sake, we will stay." Starrk said before pushing himself to his feet, going to tend to his infant. Juushiro watched him go, feeling relieved and just a touch sad. Despite all the time they had spent together, Starrk did not fully trust him.

He sometimes wondered if the arrancar would fully trust anyone ever again.

* * *

Juushiro smiled as he looked down at little Ashkii. He was asleep in his crib, slowly sucking on his thumb.

The full set of teeth was not the only sign of his hollow nature, now. He was growing rapidly, much faster than could be expected of a shinigami infant. It was only a week after his birth and he was capable of holding a bottle, which was a bit of a relief for Starrk. He was also sleeping well, often managing the entire night. That was a dream for any parent.

The other sign of his nature was the reddened skin around his neck. Fragments of bone were beginning to erupt from his tender skin, causing the infant much distress. Unohana had given them a cream although she was unable to tell them why it was happening this way in the first place. The only theory they'd been able to come up with was that having mask fragments might cause complications during birth, so instead they were coming in later. Starrk had no insight and was very worried about his son. The crying and scratching made the new parent a touch frantic.

Starrk was proving to be a wonderful 'mother' to his boy. He instinctively knew what the child wanted and was extremely responsive to any demands. That would change as the child grew older and 'need' turned into 'want', but for now he was exactly what little Ashkii needed. Juushiro glanced over at the man. He was dozing on a cushion on the floor, just waiting for his child to wake and demand his presence.

Then he felt a brush of reiatsu and blinked. It was extremely familiar but why would…? Abandoning the sleeping baby, Juushiro went to the front door.

"Juu!" Shunsui was there, holding a jug of sake and smiling at him. "I've been missing you. Could I come in?" He said charmingly and Juushiro hesitated. This was normal, on the rare occasions that they had a disagreement. Shunsui would come by with some sake and charm, they would play a board game and all would be well. But…

"Shunsui, this isn't a very good time. Perhaps I could come to your place?" Juushiro offered. He wasn't really angry at Shunsui anymore, just saddened. The other man was still his friend and a good one, despite his limitations. Shunsui blinked, looking taken aback.

"But Juu, why would… you…" Shunsui was looking over his shoulder and Juushiro glanced over. He was unsurprised to see a tired looking Starrk, eyes closed as he rubbed his face.

"Juushiro, what is – oh." Starrk lowered his hand and stared, expression blank with shock. Then it faded into a calm mask but Juushiro could see the quiet pain in those steel grey eyes. "…" His gaze flickered between them for a moment. Then there was the high cry of a baby and the arrancar glanced behind him, slightly relieved. "I must go." He said before vanishing and Juushiro breathed a bit easier. Starrk wasn't the kind to stage a scene, but his anguish was incredibly painful to see.

"…What is he still doing here?" Shunsui asked after a moment. He sounded almost angry. Juushiro reached up to rub his forehead for a moment.

"He lives here. He's playing me rent." His friend looked at him in disbelief and Juushiro felt a bit of anger towards him. "He doesn't have much support, Shunsui." He reminded him and his gaze dropped, a tiny bit of guilt chasing over his face. "I would love to see you but perhaps your place?" Juushiro did not want to bring Shunsui into the house with Starrk and his child. That would be cruel to everyone involved. Grey eyes lifted and regarded him, a touch troubled, before Shunsui nodded.

"Yes, that might be best. See me tomorrow?" He asked and Juushiro nodded, relieved. "Later Juu."

"Later, Shunsui." He firmly shut the door as his best friend left. Then he went to seek out Starrk. He was sure the arrancar would be having some kind of emotional reaction to the brief meeting.

He was right about that. Starrk was holding little Ashkii to his chest, letting the baby nurse from him as a few tears slid down his face. His expression was so empty, so void that Juushiro would not have been able to guess what he was feeling if not for that. Even his eyes seemed empty, cold and distant.

"Starrk?" Juushiro sat beside him on a nearby cushion. The arrancar was sitting on the same one he'd just been using for sleeping, a large, bright green affair. "Are you well?" He asked quietly and grey eyes flickered towards him.

"I am fine." He said quietly before rubbing his face on his shoulder, removing the wetness. "… When he told me it was over, I should not have pressed." He said and Juushiro listened, open and sympathetic. Inwardly, he was glad that Starrk trusted him enough to talk about it. "But I… I thought everything was so wonderful. I thought he would want to mate me for… a very long time." Mentally, Juushiro substituted 'forever'. That was what the arrancar truly meant. "It was so short. I asked why… I… did not let him get out of answering that question. I wish I had." His voice was fainter now, almost inaudible. "He told me that I interested him because he did not know what I was thinking, because I was so quiet and hard to know. But now… he understood me. I had let him know me and it was disappointing. I was… nothing special. Boring, like all the others, without thoughts to interest him. So it was time to go." Starrk stared at his child for a moment before looking up. His expression was terribly vulnerable. "Do I bore you, Ukitake taichou?"

"Of course not." Juushiro said, a bit shaken by the question. Although he could see Shunsui saying that. It would be entirely within his character. "Starrk, I'm so sorry. Everyone bores Shunsui, except, perhaps, myself." But he had never tried to give Shunsui everything. He'd always held back, kept a bit of himself. And in terms of age and experience, he was Shunsui's peer. He could keep up with the other man, match wits with him if he cared to. Starrk was not that kind of person. "I find you… restful." Being around Starrk was like sitting on the banks of a deep, cool river. Even when he was fully relaxed the arrancar didn't say much. Starrk just looked at him for a long moment and Juushiro felt pained at the fragile uncertainty in his face. Then the man nodded.

"Thank you." He said softly and Juushiro could see he was a touch relieved, but not entirely. He did not trust, fully. Then Ashkii let go of his 'mother' and cooed, which made a small smile tug on Starrk's lips. He began to tickle the boy and make him giggle, playing a silly game with him. Juushiro watched with a smile.

Whatever pain Starrk was still suffering, he had his child to fill the void.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm a jackass, Juu."

"…?" Juushiro sipped his tea, honestly surprised that Shunsui would even go there. They had been playing shogi for almost an hour, chatting about various things as they enjoyed the game. Shunsui just stared at the board, his expression shadowed. "Yes, you are." He said after a moment and his best friend huffed a laugh.

"You're not supposed to agree with that!" He said, managing a smile. It was a shadow of his usual expression, though. "…I don't know what I was thinking." He said quietly and Juushiro sighed to himself. That was about what he'd expected. "I was just trying to help him at first. He needed a friend… and he just seemed so mysterious. He fascinated me… kami, I feel like a fool."

"Shunsui, you don't have to explain yourself to me." Juushiro said. Really, he accepted his friend, warts and all. Besides, there was nothing he could do to help. Shunsui sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. Then he made his move on the board. It wasn't a good move but he clearly wasn't paying much attention to the game.

"I suppose not. I tried to give him money, you know." He said unhappily and Juushiro blinked. Starrk hadn't said anything about that. "He wouldn't take it. I thought he would, for the child…" Starrk was far too proud to take charity for himself but Ashkii was another matter. Something suddenly occurred to him and he looked at his friend curiously.

"How did you do that? What proxy did you use?" Shunsui couldn't have done it personally. He and Starrk were avoiding each other, completely. Shunsui looked a bit confused at the question but answered readily.

"I had the clan send him a messenger – what?" Juushiro couldn't help but laugh at that. He stopped a second later and smiled at his baffled friend.

"Sorry. I shouldn't laugh, but Starrk is paranoid about your clan." He explained and Shunsui pushed his hat back a bit, his eyes wide with surprise. "He probably didn't even listen to the message." Starrk wanted absolutely nothing to do with the Kyoraku clan. Shunsui frowned at that.

"That's why he didn't ask for support? I'd thought he might not be sure…" Shunsui stopped, a touch embarrassed. Juushiro shook his head before sipping his sake. That was definitely the sort of thing Shunsui would think. And with most of his paramours, it would be accurate. But Juushiro was certain that Shunsui had been Starrk's only partner. "…Could you take it for me then?" He asked and Juushiro smiled at the thought.

"I would be glad to." Money really didn't mean much to Shunsui. He'd wondered a bit why his friend wasn't supporting his child at all, but he'd thought Starrk was as likely to be behind that as Shunsui. Bringing it up to the arrancar had seemed too painful. "Even if he doesn't want it, I can keep it in trust for Ashkii." The child could have it when he was grown. Something to give him a good start in life. Shunsui nodded, looking a touch relieved.

"Thank you. I know it's not much but… I'm just not father material." He said and Juushiro nodded. Although he knew Shunsui did well with older children. Little babies, though, seemed to terrify him. Vaguely, he wondered if his friend would want to know Ashkii when he was talking and walking. Perhaps.

And perhaps by then, Starrk's pain might have eased.

* * *

There was no reason for his next attack.

Often, something triggered his sickness. Stress, mental or physical, could do it. Bad weather could, sometimes. But once in a while an attack came out of the blue, when he was just managing his paperwork or playing shogi. This was one of those times but it happened at home.

Juushiro had a way to manage that, though. He usually lived alone but there was always someone close. He flared his reiatsu in distress as he collapsed, coughing blood and struggling to breathe. That caught the attention of someone else, though.

"Juushiro?!" Starrk sounded afraid and Juushiro vaguely realized he should have had a talk with the arrancar to prepare him for this. He knew about his attacks, of course, but he'd never seen one before. "I don't… what should I do?" He was carrying Ashkii, who was making tiny, unhappy sounds and looking at him with wide grey eyes. The baby was just starting to crawl. Juushiro tried to smile at them reassuringly before coughing again.

"I will… be fine…" He said before coughing again. Starrk gently set Ashkii down. The baby crawled to him as the arrancar tried to help him. It didn't really work very well, mostly because of Ashkii. Starrk couldn't carry him and the infant at the same time.

Then help arrived. It was his Third seats, Kiyone and Sentaro. Starrk gathered up the baby as they both helped him, taking him to the Fourth. Juushiro was vaguely aware of Starrk following and would have told him to stay home, but it was so hard to breathe. And really, having the arrancar along would cause no real problems.

Soon Juushiro was tucked into a bed and the usual healing procedures were underway. Unohana gently shooed Starrk and his third seats out of the room, which was also pretty much normal. For an indeterminable amount of time, Juushiro fought for breath. It was always such a struggle and he was always tempted to just give up, but he never did. There were too many people counting on him…

"Juu?" A warm hand on his and he smiled as he felt the comforting presence of his best friend. "I'm here Juu. You're going to pull through." Shunsui quietly told him. Juushiro nodded, managing a rasping laugh.

"I always… do…" And he would this time. It was so comforting, though, having his friend by his side. Eventually, though, Shunsui had to go. Normally he would have been replaced by Rukia or Sentaro and Kiyone. This time, though, the next person to visit him was someone else yet just as welcome.

"Would you like me to put Ashkii beside you?" Starrk asked diffidently and Juushiro nodded, blessing Unohana yet again for rendering his disease non-communicable. If it hadn't been for that he wouldn't have dared have the two of them in his house. The arrancar gently set the baby beside him and Ashkii gripped his hair in strong little hands before giving a tug. Juushiro winced as Starrk tried to pry the strands away from him. "Ashkii… I don't know why he does that."

"He likes hair. Most babies do…" He murmured, reaching down to gently touch the little boy. Another piece of bone had broken through on his neck, he noticed. It looked like eventually the boy was going to have a necklace of teeth, similar to Starrk's mask fragment. "So glad to see the two of you." He really was. He loved children and little Ashkii was simply adorable. Starrk smiled and it was sweet to see.

"And we're both glad to see you feeling better." The arrancar said as Ashkii tried to climb onto his chest. "No child, don't do that." Starrk gently kept him from trying that. "Ah, you little monkey." He said before picking the boy up and gently holding him in his arms. A little pink hand tangled with his hair and the man winced. "He's just had a nap and he's feeling frisky." He said and Juushiro smiled, just enjoying watching.

"He's beautiful." He murmured, watching as the baby tried to climb up his parent, getting onto Starrk's shoulders. The arrancar chuckled, trying to control his errant offspring. Ashkii babbled happily before reaching for Starrk's mask fragment. "Thank you for bringing him."

"It was nothing." Starrk showed himself out and Juushiro smiled as he was replaced with Sentaro and Kiyone. They fussed over him as usual and he rather enjoyed it.

It was wonderful, having so many people to care for him.

* * *

It took almost a month for him to completely recover.

He spent a great deal of that time with Starrk and Ashkii. Normally he would have spent it with Shunsui, playing shogi and drinking tea down by the pond, but his friend did not want to come over while the arrancar was there and Juushiro didn't feel up to going to visit him. He was aware that a bit of distance was coming between them, but it was nothing he could help.

And little Ashkii was filling his days. He was a very talkative baby, babbling happily at everything. The bones around his neck kept filling in, fulfilling their promise. There was no sign of a hole, though. It seemed the boy's hollow nature was confined to the bones. Juushiro smiled as he played with the child. It was a simple game, just peekaboo but he absolutely loved it.

"You are very good with him." Starrk murmured from his place on the cushions. Juushiro looked up to see the arrancar was looking at them through sleepy eyes. He'd been taking advantage of the moment to have a nap.

"I love children. I've always wanted one of my own." Juushiro said, smiling as he looked down at Ashkii. The boy smiled up at him, his grey eyes full of happiness. He missed the flicker of interest in Starrk's face. "It's so hard, with my illness." That was a very effective deterrent to romance, sadly.

"Yes, I can see that." Starrk said and Ashkii laughed as Juushiro hid his face again before revealing himself. "He's a very good baby, easy to quiet." The arrancar said thoughtfully. "Perhaps we could go somewhere. A museum?"

"That might be good. There's a museum dedicated to the Living World and it has a children's section. He's a bit young for it but Ashkii would enjoy some of the displays." Juushiro hadn't seen them but he'd head of it. There was a ball that, when you touched it, filled your hair with static. He could only imagine what he would look like while touching that. Ashkii would probably laugh. Then the little baby tugged on his leg, easily reclaiming his attention. He missed the sweet smile on Starrk's face as he watched them playing and the thoughtful look in his eyes.

If he had noticed, he might have been a bit less surprised by what the future held.

* * *

"Oh my gosh he's adorable!" Rukia gushed as she looked at little Ashkii. The baby smiled widely at her, reaching out to her with pudgy little hands. Starrk had to adjust his grip as the baby babbled at her.

"He's also extremely friendly and far too adventurous for his own good." Starrk said humorously as Rukia took the babies' hands, making him wiggle in delight. "Ah, child, you make things hard… in Hueco Mundo I'm sure he'd have been eaten by now."

"Starrk!" Juushiro protested mildly as Rukia looked horrified. Nor was she the only one. Other shinigami had gathered, attracted by the sweetness that was a very young child. Starrk looked a bit abashed.

"I just mean… the way he likes to get into things and approach people… hollows are cannibals and they will certainly take a cub. He has no survival instinct." He said it fondly, though, adjusting Ashkii again as the child squirmed. "Would you like to hold him?" That was clearly what the boy wanted. Rukia became starry eyed again at the thought.

"I would love to!" Starrk carefully transferred the little one to her and Ashkii promptly gripped her uniform and tried to eat it. "Aw. You're so sweet!" She cooed and he smiled up at her again before babbling. More and more shinigami were attracted and soon the baby was being passed around. Starrk just watched, a benign smile on his face as his offspring got to know everyone. Ashkii had absolutely no fear and seemed to be eager to make friends.

After the visit to the Division, they went to the museum. As he'd thought, much of it was a bit too old for Ashkii but he loved the static globe. He especially loved it when Starrk touched the globe. His hair was short enough to spike out in a very satisfactory way and the baby laughed at the sight. Then they introduced him to the bouncy balls and those quickly became his second love. Juushiro smiled as he steadied the child, helping him bounce.

"You are so good with him." There was an odd note to Starrk's voice and this time, he noticed. Juushiro looked at the arrancar curiously but the man avoided his gaze, a pensive expression on his face. "I know… I am not… but if you wish, I could give you more… and Ashkii could use a true sire in his life." The arrancar finished in a low tone and Juushiro blinked. Was he being propositioned? Although his attention went to the first thing Starrk had said. _I know… I am not…_

"Starrk, you are not boring." He said firmly and saw the arrancar wince. Yes, Shunsui's words were still haunting him. "And while I love Ashkii, I will not make this a business arrangement." Disappointment flashed over Starrk's face, quickly followed by resignation. "Starrk, do you really want me? For myself?" The arrancar lifted his head, eyes wide.

"I… of course." The surprise in his voice made Juushiro smile. "I only thought…" He looked away, embarrassed and Juushiro sighed internally. The former Espada had no self-confidence at all, with things like this. Ashkii burbled unhappily, sensing the attention was not on him and Juushiro lifted the boy up in his arms.

"Do you want to date me?" He asked probingly. Perhaps this was partly his fault. He'd never given the other man a hint that he was interested, mainly because he was concentrating on gaining his trust. Showing intimate interest might have gotten in the way of that. Starrk looked at him in confusion.

"I don't like those things…" He said and Juushiro blinked at him. "The dried things… they go in cookies? I don't understand…"

"Oh kami!" He couldn't help but laugh and Ashkii laughed with him. The boy didn't know what was funny, he just liked to laugh. "I mean, would you like me to court you? Take you places? I'm sure we could find a babysitter for Ashkii. Sentaro and Kiyone would love to help." Ashkii would love them both, he was sure. Nothing intimidated him. "Did Shunsui not take you on dates?" He asked and was fascinated as he saw a light blush spread across Starrk's cheeks.

"…No. There was not much courtship involved." He said and Juushiro could imagine it. "I would like that. But why are they called dates? That seems strange." He asked and Juushiro blinked, thinking about it for a moment.

"I think it comes from making a date or saving a date. Arranging a time and place." He said and Starrk nodded.

"That does make sense – ah." He sniffed the air before reaching out and taking Ashkii. "He needs to be changed. Is there a good room here?" He asked and Juushiro nodded. He'd mentally mapped out the bathroom when they arrived, knowing Ashkii would need it.

"Right this way." He led Starrk there as the little boy giggled. Vaguely, Juushiro wondered if he might eventually have one of his own. Then he suppressed that faint hope.

It didn't matter if he ever had a child of his own. He loved Ashkii like he was his own.

* * *

" – Anna stawy!" Ashkii said, looking up at him with bright eyes. Juushiro smiled as the little baby grasped his arms. "Canny anna stawy!"

"He is such a demanding pup." Starrk said fondly but supplied the requested candy. Normally he wouldn't have, but this was a special occasion. Ashkii's first birthday. The baby could talk, now, although he was mostly unintelligible to those who didn't know him well. "…Will he be arriving soon?" Starrk sounded mildly pained. Juushiro nodded before reaching out to touch his shoulder.

"Yes, he should be here soon." He said comfortingly. Shunsui hadn't really wanted to come but he'd talked his friend into spending a bit of time with his son. And Starrk had recovered to the point that he thought he could spend time in the same room with his ex-lover.

Part of his recovery stemmed from their courtship. Juushiro was taking things slowly, making sure that this was truly what Starrk wanted. He knew what he wanted… he wanted Starrk and Ashkii by his side, forever. To him, the arrancar was so restful, so wonderful to be around. And Ashkii was an absolute joy. Starrk, though, was more uncertain and Juushiro didn't want to rush things. He wanted to earn the arrancar's trust.

Then there was a knock at the door and Juushiro went to answer. Shunsui was there, a natural-looking smile on his face and a gift in hand. Only someone as close to him as Juushiro could have detected the nervousness.

"Shunsui! It's so good to see you." Juushiro said sincerely as he let his friend in, trying to help him relax. Really, Starrk was ready for this. "Please, come in. We've been waiting to cut the cake and Ashkii is getting impatient." The candied adzuki beans wouldn't hold him forever when he could see the cake, teasingly out of reach. It was a beautiful cake, too. They'd gotten it done at a local bakery and while it was nothing fancy, the lady who'd made it had fashioned a little horse out of toothpicks and marshmallows. Ashkii wanted to eat that more than the cake.

When Shunsui came into the room, Starrk looked at him with a small, pensive smile. Ashkii was just intrigued by the new person and especially the kimono he wore.

"PWINK!" He ran away from Starrk, surprising the arrancar, and directly into Shunsui's leg, almost falling over in the process. The little boy had gone straight from crawling to running, it seemed. "Pwink! Pwink!" Ashkii said excitedly before reaching up. Shunsui stared at him, his eyes wide and Juushiro had to laugh at the shocked look on his face. Starrk's chuckle was music to his ears.

"He wants you to pick him up so he can put dirty hands on your kimono." He explained and Shunsui smiled. The expression was more genuine this time and he reached down to pick up the tiny child, resting him against his shoulder. The toddler giggled, running his hands over pink silk and leaving bean juice on the fabric. Shunsui didn't care, just smiling at his young son.

"So you are Ashkii." He said, tickling the little boy's chin. Ashkii giggled and grabbed his hand. "My name is Shunsui. I'm pleased to meet you." There was a husky note to Shunsui's voice and Juushiro could tell the meeting was affecting him, deeply. But this would be his best friend's first child. What did that mean to him? Juushiro wasn't really sure.

"Hewwo!" Ashkii yelled and everyone winced.

"Indoor voice." Starrk said reprovingly but Ashkii just tried to eat the kimono, his eyes wide. Shunsui laughed before gently disentangling him. "I am sorry. He has no volume control. Child, would you like the horsey?" That distracted Ashkii nicely.

"Horsey! Yus!" He said enthusiastically and Starrk smiled as he gently removed the horse from the cake. The toothpicks had been blunted so he just gave it to the baby directly and Ashkii beamed as he began chewing on the marshmallows.

"Here, put him in his chair…" Juushiro showed Shunsui how to settle the boy in his high chair. "He can try the cake too." Although nothing was likely to unseat the enthralling lure of the multi-colored marshmallows. Still, the cake could try. When Starrk cut it, he saw it was actually a confetti cake. He'd thought it was plain vanilla. "Oh, he'll like that." The colors inside would catch Ashkii's attention.

"He likes colorful things?" Shunsui asked and Starrk nodded, his eyes on the cake as he continued to cut slices.

"Like his sire." There was an edge of sadness to the arrancar's voice, although his face was serene. Juushiro saw Shunsui look at the table, saw the guilt chase across his face.

"Starrk… I'm sorry." He said after a moment and the arrancar looked up for just a moment, surprised. Then he shook his head and began plating the slices of cake.

"It is fine. I am past it." Starrk said and Juushiro felt relieved at his calm tone. For perhaps the first time, he genuinely believed that was the case. "Please, have some cake." He offered Shunsui a plate which he took with a touch of sadness. Soon Ashkii had his piece of cake and as predicted, he was fascinated by the sprinkles inside. He squished the cake completely in his effort to dig them out, then ate the icing, licking his pudgy little hands with a wide smile. "He will be a monster for hours. Fortunately we have many helpers to wear him out." Starrk said fondly and Juushiro nodded as Shunsui looked at him questioningly.

"Practically the entire Thirteenth." All of them loved the little boy and he was quickly becoming an unofficial mascot for the unit. Ashkii started wiggling in his seat and Starrk smiled as he lifted out the boy, setting him down so he could run over to his toys.

"Ah, the gift, would he…?" Shunsui asked and Juushiro blinked at the reminder. Although catching Ashkii's attention… looking at the colorful paper, he smiled. That wouldn't be a problem.

"Ashkii!" He called, picking up the gift and kneeling down. The little boy looked over curiously. "Would you like to tear this open?" He said coaxingly and grey eyes went wide.

"Yus!" He ran over and little hands tore at the wrapping. Shunsui chuckled softly as he watched the boy uncover his new toy. It was a little mobile, very colorful and it played music. "Oooooh!" Ashkii was immediately enthralled by the colors and the sounds. Starrk held it up for him and he began grabbing at it, smiling widely.

"We should put that over his playpen." Ashkii had a playpen that he couldn't get out of, not yet. Although he was definitely trying and Juushiro thought that in a year he'd have managed to stage an escape. Nothing could keep the child down long.

The time together went very well. Shunsui played with Ashkii, a simple game of peekaboo that made the boy giggle happily. Starrk and Juushiro sipped their tea, just watching as he became acquainted with his son. Eventually, though, Shunsui had to go. Juushiro wanted to ask if he would be back some other time, but he decided not to press. Also, he didn't want to cause Starrk too much stress. Ashkii waved goodbye as Shunsui left and they both took over entertaining the child until the inevitable sugar crash came. When Ashkii went from happy to cranky, Starrk set him down for a nap. The boy didn't want to sleep, but Starrk was firm and sure enough, sleep was what he needed. Soon Ashkii was deeply asleep in his playpen, utterly cute as he dozed.

"It was a good day." Starrk said but there was an odd note in his voice. Juushiro looked at him questioningly to see him gazing at Ashkii with pensive expression. "I can see his sire so much in him." He said and Juushiro nodded.

"That's not a bad thing." Ashkii's chatty and friendly nature were from Shunsui. His energy too, for that matter. Shunsui had been very energetic when he was a teenager and Juushiro imagined he'd been even worse as a child. Starrk nodded.

"I know. It is just painful, sometimes." He said before looking up with a smile. It was a real smile, now. "But that was good. I… did not mind, seeing him." That was a great breakthrough for Starrk in his journey towards healing. Juushiro gently touched his shoulder.

"I'm glad for you. Would you mind him seeing Ashkii in the future?" He asked. He wasn't sure Shunsui would want to, but it might be good for the boy. Starrk nodded after a moment of hesitation.

"I would not mind." He said softly and Juushiro couldn't resist. He pulled the man close, kissing him tenderly. Starrk responded warmly, returning the kiss.

He had high hopes that this would work out well for everyone.


End file.
